Quotes that make sense when Time goes Wrong for You

1. If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry!
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and Enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat u fairly coz u r a good person is like
expecting the lion not to attack u coz u r a vegetarian.

Think about it.

3. Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what clothes we wear,
but what we are inside. So, try going out naked tomorrow and see the admiration!

4. Don't walk as if you rule the world,
walk as if you don't care who rules the world!

That's called Attitude…! Keep on rocking!

5. Every lady hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did
and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!!!

6. He was a good man. He never smoked, drank had no affair.
When he died, the insurance company refused the claim.
They said, he who never lived, cannot die!

7. A man threw his wife in a pond of Crocodiles?
He's now being harassed by the Animal Rights Activists for being cruel to the Crocodiles!

8. So many options for suicide:
Poison, sleeping pills, hanging,
jumping from a building, lying on train tracks,

but we chose Marriage, slow sure!

9. Only 20 percent boys have brains, rest have girlfriends!

10. All desirable things in life are either
illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else!

11. 10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving.
Which makes it a logical statement that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!

Hot joke only for adults 18+

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend,

"I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

Solve this puzzle if you can, Brain stressing...

A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for Over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

Can You Figure These Out? Do answer if you can...

A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him ?

Husband Wife laughter Bomb, SMS, Funny, Gags, Philosophy of life

Philosophy of life:

At the begining of married life,

every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

Laughter Pills, Just for Gags, Funny SMS

Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep,

Forgot his family,

Forgot his food,

Forgot laughter were called "Saints"

But now they are called..

"IT professionals"